Springtime Blues

So Jan/Feb/March of this year and last have been just awful, I really mean it.  Mostly because not only was it cold dreary winter, but I had a broken heart :( This one feels different though because I think I realized he is the one for me, and I almost needed to lose him to know for sure for sure (as bad as it sounds). He's the wonderful guy I talked about in my last post, nearly a year ago... I stopped blogging because I was so happy and in love. So much has happened I don't even know where to begin, but basically I became critical of him and started doubting the beautiful love we had and it was tearing both of us up so something needed to change.  And he was strong and cut it off, but we are both hopeful to be able to have something even better down the road. And basically right after he broke it off I realized I had taken him for granted and might possibly lose the love of my life because of it :( The thing is I don't want to wait!! I'm ready to commit now for sure!! But he's needing time and space so I'm trying to give it to him and just trust God will lead him back to me if he's supposed to be mine :) Honestly though every day feels like a week and I deeply desire to just hold him again and have my best friend back!! I know it sounds sappy but I don't care, its how I feel. But for now I'm trying to just grow as a person and seek counsel and community.. Its super hard to be patient when I'm not a patient person though, haha!

Anyway I've taken up regular exercise and it feels great! And I'm really trying to cultivate closer girlfriends because in the past I had many but have noticed its not the same anymore.. Am I not a good friend anymore? Is it just harder the older you get? I'm searching this out, but I think its really important to have close girlfriends..

Ugh I just hit a big wall and need to sleep! I will write more later, I know you all are just sitting on the edge of your seat wondering what I'll blog next hahah!