Well, the good news is I'm feeling happier and more optimistic :) But I had this realization yesterday while shopping at Target that I had gotten used to life without many things, including extra money. I used to frequent Target and buy stuff I probably really didn't need, but when my financial aid got cancelled a few months ago I suddenly was barely making ends meet and definitely couldn't afford "luxuries" I'd grown accustomed to. But I finally got financial aid again yesterday, so where didi I go? Yep, Target. But what I found interesting was I kept looking at things I didn't really need, and though I can afford them now was not giving in and picking them up! Hah! How funny. I realized I don't really need all that crap, and in a way it was liberating. These past few months I have also been "living without" a much bigger thing, my best friend and lover. This one I have not come to the conclusion was "unnecessary" but I have no choice but to be patient and wait for him to come back :( The good news is though it never really gets much easier without him, I'm learning to trust God in a new way and that feels really good. Sometimes I'll find myself anxious about it, but then God will remind me he loves me and has it all under control and it really does help me. I don't know what I'd do without hope in Christ!!!
I had a "Girl's Night" last night which was just so wonderful :) I have really been trying to deepen my friendships with my girlfriends so it felt so nice to just spend some quality time with a few of them last night.
Today I'm trying to trust God and find peace where I'm at, even though its not really where I want to be. I had coffee with a girlfriend yesterday and she mentioned that maybe God was working on me and my relationship now so that marriage (if it happens with him, lord willing) will be a little easier and that really comforted me. I know its going to be hard no matter what but in a way it is cool to work out some hard things beforehand and sort of prepare yourself...
Anyway I'm off to enjoy my Saturday!
Happy weekend everyone :)
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